Sleeping Idiot2
by Green Banana
Summary: just a little thing i made bc the first one was hard to read... hopefully this one will work!


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Disclaimer: this is just supposed to be a joke. I don't own sleeping-beauty, I don't own idiots, I don't even own this computer. If u want to review and say this stinks, OK. But can u please review if u read it? Thanx. This is something I did for a school a while ago, and I just felt like posting it here. Please don't take it. It is from the POV of no one in particular.

Sleeping Idiot

Once upon a time, in a land no one can pronounce (Hey At least I tried!) there lived this dude. He had become king when his dad's friend had kicked the bucket. He also happened to be an absolute idiot. Just goes to show, it's not _what_ you know, it's _who_ you know. 

The dude was married to a woman. Yes, she was the queen. How did you guess? They both wanted to have a child, but for some reason, they never could.

One day, (finally!) they had a daughter. The king and queen were overjoyed. They threw a big birthday party for her.

The two rulers decided to invite all the fairies in the land. All except one. There happened to be thirteen fairies. The royal family was very superstitious, so they only wanted twelve there. I was personally insulted. Thirteen is my lucky number! I never saw anything wrong with it.

That's were I come in. I was invited to the party. Not being a real fairy and all, I was pretty nervous.

The royals also had reason to be scared. They had decided not to invite Mary-Jane, the evil fairy. Bad choice. Mary-Jane would probably curse the kingdom or something. Not that I cared. That was their problem. I was just worried that people would discover that I wasn't a real fairy.

The day of the party was rainy and miserable. I considered not going, but maybe that would arouse suspicion. So I put on my raincoat and left.

When I arrived, everybody was talking about the magic gifts the fairies would give. Magic gifts? Uh-oh.

Suddenly a hush fell over the room. The royal family walked gracefully down the elegant stairs to their thrones.

Once they were seated, there was a mad rush for chairs. Somehow, I ended up sitting on the floor. The speech began, but I couldn't hear anything because someone had just moved their seat. 

Oh, great. Now I was trapped under the table. Disaster strikes once more in Me-ville. Just then, I saw a bit of light. An empty chair! I was saved!

I began crawling toward the light, avoiding feet. Everything got quiet again, but I didn't notice.

"Ah, Miss Lerry" I heard the king say. "Have a seat here."

NOOOOOOO!! My chair! Spirit down, I sat on the floor again. Then I noticed more light. Things were quiet once more. Not this time! I thought, crawling faster.

"Uh… Mary-Jane… " The king stuttered nervously. "I'm so sorry…You must have slipped my mind… I'm so sorry that you weren't invited… Please, have a seat here…"

Whew! Just in time! I popped up, and was nearly flattened. Mary-Jane went to another seat, thankfully.

Then it was time to give the magic gifts. Maybe if I stood in the back of the room no one would notice me. I watched as the princess, who had just been named Aurora, received the gifts of intelligence, beauty, gracefulness, etc. Nothing useful. I wondered why she hadn't been given a good name yet. Maybe I could give her that.

Just as I was about to go forward, Mary-Jane stood up. 

" I give her this gift:" Mary-Jane said. "When she reaches her fifteenth birthday, she will prick her finger on a needle and die!"

Panic hit. I considered ending it by reminding everyone that you don't die from being poked by a needle, but, then again, it was a fairy curse, and maybe it wasn't entirely logical.

Then I thought about it. Mary-Jane didn't have strong enough magic to make Aurora die. She would probably just sleep for a hundred years, or something minor like that. I was saved again! I could pretend that that was my gift!

I walked up to the front of the room and said: "My gift is that Aurora will not die, she will just sleep for a hundred years."

The royal family declared me royal fairy godmother. Oh, joy. I don't even get paid.

Well, the morning of fifteenth B-day arrived. She was exploring, and guess what? You guessed it. She found an old geezer in a tower room. Guess what else? You guessed it again! What a genius. The old geezer gave her a needle, and the idiot princess actually played with the thing! You do not _play _ with sharp thing like that! (At least, I don't) 

She pricked her finger and fell asleep. I didn't want to get blamed, so I left. The next day, someone found Aurora and informed the king and queen.

Soon, the castle was so surrounded by plants so thick it was almost impossible to reach it. Now, you might think that it was thorns growing to protect the princess, but it wasn't. It was weeds, because the gardener was lazy.

While I was 'away' I conveniently met a person who specialized in magic. I wasted my not-so-hard earned money on a spell book to help me get back into the castle. I had a couple cents left over, so I bought a box of sleeping powder as well. 

I was summoned to the castle to see the king and queen about Aurora. Wonder why.

The queen was wearing a new piece of jewelry. A gold necklace which looked _very_ familiar. After an hour or so of staring at the necklace and tuning out the king's talking (I'm very good at it, I had all the practice I'll need in fifth grade health class) I finally recognized it. Mary-Jane had lost it years ago!

Maybe if I stole it from the queen and gave it back to Mary-Jane she would give me a reward. Rewards are my very favorite thing, after money.

Money was the reason I was pretending to be a fairy in the first place. I had made a bet with a friend that I could get into the castle. I figured the easiest way to do it would be to become a fairy. Now that I've said I'm one, I can't exactly tell everyone I'm not.

Oh, well. The guilt is all worth it. I won the bet. 

Anyway, back to the story. That night I snuck back into the castle by climbing in a window. 

Oops. Wrong window. Close enough, though. The only problem is, the castle is very confusing. It's even harder to find your way around than it is to find your way around a new school. 

Never mind. There's no need to find my way around. All I need to do is saw a hole in the floor. No biggie.

After a few days of sawing, I was finally through. It's amazing no one heard when the solid chunk of marble that had once been the floor fell. Hey, at least I didn't cause an avalanche!

I lowered myself through the hole with a thick rope. 

"Aha!" I yelled, seeing the necklace. The queen woke up. "Who are you?" She asked me. 

"I'm a fairy." I told her/

"Oh." She replied "Then what's the rope for?" Oh yea.

"The rope is to, uh… hold up my hat!" I cleverly responded.

I wasn't wearing one. Time to exit stage left, bye! As I was running, the box of sleeping powder exploded. How was I supposed to know that you couldn't shake it??!! I put the whole castle to sleep. I wonder how long that stuff lasts.

You probably know how the rest of the story goes. No one figured out I wasn't a fairy, (yes!) a prince came and rescued the princess, and I never _did_ get the reward, the whole schmiel. 

If you want to hear the ending in great detail, go to the library. I'm not wasting my time telling you. Besides, I'm out of paper.

The End

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Ok!that's it! I it's just a stupid little short story, but please R/R! u can tell me that u hated it, because u probably did…


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